Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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