I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
