I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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