Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
