So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
