sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
