i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
