"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
