idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't turn off my feet"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
