She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
false alarm. still invincible.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
