So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
