I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
