I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im holly from the hills drunk
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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