Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
