He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
