she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
