ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
