If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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