I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
