i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
