I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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