her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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