sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
