Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
