I didn't shave. On purpose
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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