At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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