My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
