Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
