ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
