that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
