I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
