Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
