How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
