Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
