Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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