my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
