Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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