my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
