that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
