Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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