wanna go halves on a baby?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
