Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
