one might say we're banned from that church
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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