So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
