Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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