we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just cropdusted the office
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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