At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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