she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
