Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
