Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
