Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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