would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
