Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
