He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
