I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
