ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
