And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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